There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.

Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.

Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.

(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.