I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.

You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.

There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.

I'm just very interested in what my guests have to say. You have to be vigilant to stay ignorant.