After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
Stephen ColbertI cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.
Stephen ColbertNow, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
Stephen Colbert