If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.

Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.

It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.