...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.

Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area.

And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word!' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I am no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen.

Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.