Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.

You can change the world. Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now.

If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.

Baby carrots are making me gay.