I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat.

If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.

Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.