Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.
If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.
Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.
If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.