Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. Itโs sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
Stephen ColbertSo my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientistsโthey'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.
Stephen ColbertI gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman's chair. Folks those are some huge shoes to fill, and some really big pants.
Stephen ColbertArbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
Stephen Colbert