I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.

Baby carrots are making me gay.

Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are.

Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.

Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.

I love making observations. That one is a classic example.

Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!