To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face.

I don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say one thing and behave a different way.

The goal is to have fun with my friends.And that means sometimes talking about things that you care about.

Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.

Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.

I'm impervious to logic.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.