And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.

Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!