And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.

That’s why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can’t channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting stuffed over and over until they finally cut to the gravy shot.

Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.

Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.