I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.

I am no fan of books.

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.

Any religion whose messiah’s name isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of a threat.