I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.

And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.

I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.

Odyssey Dawn? That's not a military operation. That's a Carnival Cruise ship.

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.