The more you know, the sadder you get.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

The interesting thing about fake news and fake media is that it's a heresy against reality. Again, as a Catholic, I was taught that the greatest sin was heresy. Because not only are you a sinner, you are proselytizing and inviting other people into your sinful state through your heresy. You're a recruiter for your own fallen state. Donald Trump is a heretic against reality. Basically, he's lying for sport. He's inviting people into his heresy that there is no objective reality.

And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word!' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I am no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen.

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.