If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

Oops! I always thought PETA stood for Please Eat This Animal.

I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.

Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to just hit the backhand. You can't think about all the pieces of it. You can't think about your swing. You just have to do it. Reading someone else's deconstruction of what I do, all it does is put me in my head. On nights when the show goes particularly well, I am not aware of its fluidity. A lot of nights I'm just worried that I'm not going to be as good as the script in front of me.

I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable "on notice"? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?