The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.

I am no fan of books.

Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in the fiery Afterscape of the Rapture.

Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.