I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!

Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.

This is a crucial time in the fight for corporate civil rights. Just look at the hateful signs at Occupy Wallstreet: 'Corporations Are Not People!' Wow, I thought we were past the point in this country where some people aren't people just because they have different color skin or different religion or were born in a lawyer's office, only exist on paper, have no soul and can never die.

Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.

Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.