I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!

Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.

Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.