No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
Stephen ColbertIf a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?
Stephen ColbertWe all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan [on screen: Operation 'Greet Us As Liberators']. It was so simple: Go in with 100,000 troops, topple the regime, everybody loves us, and we leave by Easter 2003. These ex-military men have their right to their opinions, that's fine. They just shouldn't voice them during a war [on screen: 'Loose Lips Sink Approval Ratings']
Stephen Colbert