Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.

Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza; and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness — just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

America cannot afford a rally to restore sanity in the middle of a recession. Did you even consider how many panic-related jobs that might cost us in the fear-industrial complex?

it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.