Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
Stephen ColbertI'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
Stephen ColbertThinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
Stephen ColbertIt used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.
Stephen Colbert