What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?

I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.

You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.

Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it "The No Fact Zone.

A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!

Oh sure, its fine when a monkey does it. But when I throw barrels at an Italian plumber, they call it a hate crime!