Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.

I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.

It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.

Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.