Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.

'Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.

Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in the fiery Afterscape of the Rapture.

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.

Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too.

I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and I have no venue. So right now, I'm just dry Trumping.

I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear black 'at' people. I didn't just want to play Hamlet, I wanted to be Hamlet.