I thought Black Friday was when everyone puts on blackface and steals children from Wal-Mart.

It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.

We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.

It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.