I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

The worst thing about affirmative action is that it encourages reverse discrimination, so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how we naturally discriminate.

There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.