In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.

If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.

In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say "congratulations.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.

But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.

If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.