Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.

And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me with her tear-stained eyes and said, 'This is how you teach children, by making them cry.' And it was such a clenching reminder - she won not only the argument, but she won life with that statement. I just burst out laughing, and I think they were so surprised that I burst out laughing, that they did too.

Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.

It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.

I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money.