One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.

I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.

Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.