One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.

Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.

Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with constitutional rights. I just hope he doesn't do anything rash, like declare that homosexuals are people with constitutional rights.

I thought Black Friday was when everyone puts on blackface and steals children from Wal-Mart.