It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

Oh sure, its fine when a monkey does it. But when I throw barrels at an Italian plumber, they call it a hate crime!

I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.

If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.

If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.

Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!

In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.