You see, we're America the Beautiful, not America 'Well, At Least She Has a Great Personality'.
Stephen ColbertMentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.
Stephen ColbertCynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics donโt learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.
Stephen ColbertI welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston County High-School Debate Tournament. And whatever became of that county champ who argued in favor of tractor safety modifications? Last time I checked, she didn't have her own show.
Stephen ColbertI stand by this man (President George W. Bush). I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound.. with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.
Stephen Colbert