It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

The most common thing that real reporters say to me is, "I wish I could say what you say." What I don't understand is, why can't they say what I say, even in their own way? Does that mean they want to be able to name certain bald contradictions or hypocrisies that politicians have?

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.