I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money.

Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!

Leaving religious texts open too interpretation is the downfall of religion itself. If it is truly the word of God then there is no room for interpretation; you either take all of it or none. There is no selective belief

Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.

Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?