Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
Stephen ColbertI don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
Stephen ColbertHistory moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
Stephen ColbertLuckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in Americaโless trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
Stephen ColbertHatemongers like Media Matters take innocent statements like mine, Rush Limbaugh's, John Gibson's, and Bill O'Reilly's and make them offensive by posting them on the Internet, allowing the general public to hear words that were meant for people who already agree with us. Hey, Media Matters, you want to end offensive speech? Then stop recording it for people who would be offended.
Stephen Colbert