Hang up the phone on a vampire, the definition of carefree.

How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message?

Satire works in a bunch of specific ways, like a very precisely-geared bomb. It's a bit like something that looks harmless, and you swallow it, but once it's inside you it's too late, and it triggers, blowing up. And it's your specific inner beliefs and faulty arguments that trigger a satire bomb. If your arguments work, the bomb doesn't trigger, it doesn't need to.

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

A society will manufacture an image of progress and locate it in the direction it wishes to take us.

In books there's nothing of the fish covered in the coldness of the sea, or the feeling of a star touching space. Bad for business.