My fear represented the failure of the human system. It is a sad truth of our creation: Something is amiss in our design, there are loose ends of our psychology that are simply not wrapped up. My fears were the dirty secrets of evolution. They were not provided for, and I was forced to construct elaborate temples to house them.

It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it - The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.

Any type of humor can be transferred to the screen, as long as there's clarity. The audience wants to know just what they're supposed to be feeling, when they're supposed to laugh.

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.

I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct.