Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling.

The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

I'm not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

The lure in art collecting and its financial rewards, not counting for a moment its aesthetic, cultural and intellectual rewards, is like the trust in paper money: it makes no sense when you really think about it. New artistic images are so vulnerable to opinion that it wouldn't take much more than a whim for a small group of collectors to decide that a contemporary artist was not so wonderful anymore, was so last year.

The thing about the banjo is when you first hear it, it strikes many people as what's that? There's something very compelling about it to certain people.