Romance takes place when you first fall in love. It stirs all emotions and you can manipulate and be manipulated.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, Hi, was it good for you too? If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.