You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

I had my coat hangers spayed.

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

I'm a peripheral visionary.