You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.