If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

I just have a relationship with my imagination. It's like my friend, almost.

I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.

The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.