If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.