I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.