I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.

You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".

I was an only child, eventually.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'