My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?