My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

I washed mud off of mud.

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?