I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.