If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.