Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'