The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'

I took a baby shower.

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?