I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

The speed of time is one second per second.