I took a baby shower.
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
What a nice night for an evening.
If you shoot a Mime, do you need to use a silencer?
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "Right here, officer."