I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.