I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?