I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?

The sky already fell. Now what?