I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.

I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!

Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat