So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world.

I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified

I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world.

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic."

Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear.