I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived.

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West

You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.

Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me