It annoys me how pretty my voice is...that sounds incredibly immodest, but it annoys me how polite it can sound when perhaps what I'm singing is deeply acidic.

I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9.

We weren't listening to guitar bands, we were thoroughly ashamed of being a guitar band. So we bought loads of keyboards and learned how to use them, and when we got bored we went back to guitars.

If we replaced all of our guns with chicken sandwiches it would end all war immediately.

I cannot read a fortune cookie without breaking down and crying. I am sensitive.

I won't live in a mostly Mexican neighborhood. I'm sorry I just won't do it.

Look at that fat kid, in the audience. You want some pie you little fatty? I strongly dislike fat kids. Security, please remove him, that fat kid, over there, by the pies.