I don't know why people called me Tom. My name is THUMB.

If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior.

My father slapped my thighs with a variety of meats until I began to cry and sulked in the corner. I later became a musician

I am all the days that you choose to ignore.

Most Radiohead songs are actually REM songs, I just have a mentally ill child read the lyrics aloud and then I change the melodies a bit.

Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.

You know, it's never easy to understand why I do what I do. For other people, I mean.