I may have found the cure for cancer, and I think it might be Thom Yorke Serum.

Most of my dancing is actually convulsions from having to listen to my own music

If I could do just one thing to change the world, I'd make everyone Thom Yorke, and this would be paradise.

I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er

I don't even have children, it's just been an excuse to play jenga and hit softballs in my backyard with a box of laundry detergant wearing baby clothes.

The hardest part about being in radiohead is being inside a giant head that is a radio. Ha ha, little english humour there, or is it a hammer?

I ultimately decided that I couldn't beat it more than three times a day, (I) was just too drained and chapped. That's what Radiohead is about. You're just drained and chapped, down there.